Tag: Depression

DIVINE MERCY SUNDAY: RECONCILIATION & LOVE FOR THE JOURNEY

“Drawn to You”: How I found the Image of Divine Mercy

Last night while I was struggling to work on this post (I began it at my Holy Hour on Friday), I was scrolling through my music library and came across the beautiful song by Audrey Assad called Drawn to You (from her 2018 album Evergreen) which every time I listen to it, reminds me of the journey of a Christian.  We can’t always see the way ahead yet God offers us graces everyday–we just have to look for them.

One such grace happened to me when I was teaching 7th grade Religious Education. Shopping for classroom supplies in a friend’s Catholic bookshop in 1994, I was checking out when drawn to a poster Casey had hanging behind her register. It was the picture of Jesus below with the words “Jesus, I trust in You.”  I added it to my purchases and when I got home a box of “Holy Traders” saint cards (I was big into collecting trading cards since a tomboy loving baseball and football cards all the way to movie cards) showed me there was a saint on my birthday (October 5) Blessed Faustina. To my surprise Blessed Faustina was the nun to whom Jesus appeared to ask for the image of the Divine Mercy and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  Wow!  There are no coicidences with our Lord!  Since, I’ve been blessed to continue the journey with Divine Mercy with Saint Faustina and Our Lord (I was even born on the same day of the week, Wednesday, that Faustina entered into eternal life on).  I’ve been blessed to visit the National Shrine of Divine Mercy in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, to see Blessed Faustina canonized the first saint of the new millennium (via EWTN) and when a pair of nuns came to present at our parish, to have the relic of Saint Faustina pressed against my Miraculous Medal while wearing it close to my heart.

So I will be forever grateful to God for drawing me to His Divine Mercy, especially in my understanding of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

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Trivia for the Day:

A Sacrament is “an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace.” In the Catholic Church, 7 Sacraments are recognized.

  1. Baptism
  2. Eucharist (Communion)
  3. Confirmation
  4. Reconciliation (Confession)
  5. Anointing of the Sick (not “Last Rites”)
  6. Matrimony
  7. Holy Orders

We place the Sacraments in 3 categories:

  1. INITIATION (Baptism, Eucharist, Confirmation)
  2. HEALING (Anointing of the Sick and Reconciliation)
  3. SERVICE (Matrimony and Holy Orders)

A Sacrament of Healing

Going to confession SHOULD NEVER be feared but looked upon as what it is: an opportunity for healing and for grace that only God can give.

That being said, yes when I was younger and naive in my faith, I was at different times scared, embarrassed, and downright discouraged by sins in my life. I also suffer from a mental illness (depression) that does its best to make you feel broken, worthless, unlovable and discouraged from climbing out of whatever hole you may be in.

Also whether you believe it or not we are engaged in spiritual warfare. See Ephesians 6:12 if you need Scriptural proof.

So no matter who you are, where you are in your journey, what you have done or haven’t done, never give up. Look to the Cross of Christ where Blood and Water flowed from His pierced side. This is His Sacrifice of Love to heal each and every one of us. We just have to TRUST in Him.

Next to Jesus’ Real Presence in the Eucharist, Confession is one of my great loves about being Catholic. The grace of needing to climb out of my own self-righteous judgmental attitudes comes with healing through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. On our journey (that work in progress we are to be saints) we must first of all, admit our own faults, failings and sins. It is not time to be like the Pharisee in the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (see Luke chapter 18) and puff ourselves up with “how holy we are” but rather to look at our sins with the humble heart of the Tax Collector of how much in need of God’s mercy we are.

This immense love that Jesus offers us in the Sacrament of Confession leads to the importance of this Sacrament in our life as Catholics and in the message of The Divine Mercy.

Divine Mercy and a Message of Love

To assure us of His Mercy, Christ spoke to Saint Faustina about confession a number of times. The great message of these messages is that NO ONE is outside the mercy of God and we should always pray for salvation of souls, even the person who may seem like the worst and darkest sinner of all.  In the end, only GOD knows what is in a person’s soul as that person takes the last breath. Never despair of God’s mercy but TRUST.

Here are just a few of my favorite messages from Saint Faustina’s Diary about the Sacrament of Reconciliation:

  • Daughter, when you go to Confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to Confession, immerse yourself in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Tell souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls. The proud remain always in poverty and misery, because My grace turns away from them to humble souls (Revelatation from Jesus to Saint Faustina: Diary 1602)
  • Make your confession before Me. The person of the priest is, for Me, only a screen. Never analyze what sort of a priest it is that I am making use of; open your soul in confession as you would to Me, and I will fill it with My light (1725).
  • Tell souls, Jesus spoke about the Sacrament of Reconciliation, where they are to look for solace; that is, in the Tribunal of Mercy. There the greatest miracles take place, are incessantly repeated. To avail oneself of this miracle, it is not necessary to go on a great pilgrimage or to carry out some external ceremony; it suffices to come with faith to the feet of My representative and to reveal to him one’s misery, and the miracle of Divine Mercy will be fully demonstrated. Were a soul like a decaying corpse so that from a human standpoint, there would be no restoration and everything would already be lost, it is not so with God. Oh, miserable are those who do not take advantage of the miracle of God’s mercy! (Diary 1448).
  • But God has promised a great grace especially to you [Father Sopocko] and to all those … who will proclaim My great mercy. I shall protect them Myself at the hour of death, as My own glory. And even if the sins of souls were as dark as night, when the sinner turns to My mercy, he gives Me the greatest praise and is the glory of My Passion. When a soul extols My goodness, Satan trembles before it and flees to the very bottom of hell (Diary, 378).

I hope these help you on your journey and inspire you to never give up hope, no matter who you are, where you are or what your current spiritual state is.  Always trust in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He’ll never give up on you.

For a great Examination of Conscience, see this link by the Marians of the Immaculate Conception: DivineMercy.org

Have a most blessed Divine Mercy Sunday, my brothers and sisters in Christ!

 

GOOD FRIDAY: “WHOM ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?”

Jesus, knowing everything that was going to happen to him, went out and said to them, “Whom are you looking for?”

John 18:4

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Trivia for the Day:

The Scripture from the Gospel of John above is heard in every Catholic parish celebrating the Passion of the Lord on Good Friday services. It’s part of the cyclical nature of Scripture Reading in the Catholic Liturgy that there is a 3-year rotation of readings. On Palm Sunday, the Passion readings follow that cycle but on Good Friday, the Passion always comes from the Gospel of John.

My Lenten Silence

I did start this post on Ash Wednesday but for whatever reason the writing (other than a few bursts of creativity here and there) dried up during Lent.  It could be the depression but most likely it is a matter of real-life responsibilites which have led to fatigue.    However just because Lent didn’t go the way I thought and hoped it would, the Holy Spirit led me to a most productive (and needed) book for Lent.

“Give Up Worry for Lent” by Gary Zimak

A few weeks before Lent, I started trying to figure out what Lent should be about this year. As I suffer from depression and lack of focus at times due to it, I kept wandering from place to place.  Did I want to do the same (and very helpful) Lenten program from Dynamic Catholic “The Best Lent Ever” or did I want something else?

We celebrated Confirmation for our 5 eighth-graders at the Cathedral of St. Peter in Chains on Sunday March 3 and Bishop Joseph Binzer gave the candidates (and those of us in the pews) an excellent homily which paid tribute to the late Father Jim Willig who said in the midst of his suffering from cancer, “I don’t know what my future holds but I know WHO holds my future.”

Father Paul our priest at Holy Name who has been excellent at spiritual direction purchased the “Little Black Book” for Lent for the entire parish.  I got to “sketching Lenten plans” in the front on Sunday or early Monday.  What I was left with was a confusing jumble of basically “self-improvement” tips.  But one struck me in particular that I scribbled: “TRUST MORE, WORRY LESS.” And yes, we should always keep our eyes fixed upon Jesus.

So in his gift of counsel, Father Paul provided me with a helpful reflection to lead into Lent by looking at the Tuesday Mass reading from the Book of Sirach 35: 1-12. If you don’t have a “Catholic” Bible, check to see if you have apocryphal books at the end of your Bible. There are 66 books in the King James Version of the Bible; 72, sometimes 73 depending on how it’s broken up, in the Catholic Bible. These books were found only written in Greek not in Hebrew but are part of the Canonical Books decided upon by the 5th century.

Sirach 35: 1-12

To keep the law is a great oblation,
and he who observes the
commandments sacrifices a peace offering.
In works of charity one offers fine flour,
and when he gives alms he presents his sacrifice of praise.
To refrain from evil pleases the LORD,
and to avoid injustice is an atonement.
Appear not before the LORD empty-handed,
for all that you offer is in fulfillment of the precepts.
The just one’s offering enriches the altar
and rises as a sweet odor before the Most High.
The just one’s sacrifice is most pleasing,
nor will it ever be forgotten.
In a generous spirit pay homage to the LORD,
be not sparing of freewill gifts.
With each contribution show a cheerful countenance,
and pay your tithes in a spirit of joy.
Give to the Most High as he has given to you,
generously, according to your means.

For the LORD is one who always repays,
and he will give back to you sevenfold.
But offer no bribes, these he does not accept!
Trust not in sacrifice of the fruits of extortion.
For he is a God of justice,
who knows no favorites.eep the law is a great oblation,
and he who observes the
commandments sacrifices a peace offering.
In works of charity one offers fine flour,
and when he gives alms he presents his sacrifice of praise.
To refrain from evil pleases the LORD,
and to avoid injustice is an atonement.
Appear not before the LORD empty-handed,
for all that you offer is in fulfillment of the precepts.
The just one’s offering enriches the altar
and rises as a sweet odor before the Most High.
The just one’s sacrifice is most pleasing,
nor will it ever be forgotten.
In a generous spirit pay homage to the LORD,
be not sparing of freewill gifts.
With each contribution show a cheerful countenance,
and pay your tithes in a spirit of joy.
Give to the Most High as he has given to you,
generously, according to your means.

For the LORD is one who always repays,
and he will give back to you sevenfold.
But offer no bribes, these he does not accept!
Trust not in sacrifice of the fruits of extortion.
For he is a God of justice,
who knows no favorites.

 

So maybe, more than an endless Lenten to-do list, I needed to go deeper.  Providentially I found a new book Give Up Worry for Lent” by Gary Zimak which on Ash Wednesday reminded us with the Scripture “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)  This Scripture gave me great comfort Ash Wednesday before Mass so thank you Mr. Zimak and Sacred Heart Radio (740 AM Cincinnati) for sharing this book. I guess I just needed the Holy Spirit to remind me that yes, true rest (true peace) is only found in Our Savior Jesus Christ. So who better to seek everyday than Christ? And who better to give us rest than Jesus?

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So in the end, maybe this silence during Lent hasn’t been a bad thing. I’ve highlighted so many passages in Mr. Zimak’s books on my Kindle app that I couldn’t begin to post them all here and finish tonight.

So since it’s Good Friday, I’ll end with a question we should all ask ourselves: “Whom are you looking for?”

Whom Are You Looking For?

I paid extra attention to this question as Father Paul read it during the Liturgy of the Word.  The guards with Judas were looking for Jesus to arrest him, King Herod was looking for Jesus to perform a miracle, Pontius Pilate was looking at Jesus to ponder what truth was.  So whom are you, whoever you may be reading this, wherever you are in life, looking for? Are you even looking for a Savior to begin with?

Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York was on the Fox & Friends program this morning talking about Good Friday and happily I caught the segment.  He pointed out in talking about the Notre Dame Cathedral fire in Paris on Monday of this Holy Week that we’re all “hard wired for the Divine.” Sometimes it takes something tragic like the fire to wake us up. When I saw the cathedral, a place I’ve dreamed of visiting most of my adult life, in flames my first thought was a prayer that the Crown of Thorns was saved. In the aftermath of news and pictures coming out it was evident that we had globally experienced the power of Jesus Christ in how much was saved at a moment many of us thought all was lost.

Monday was a preview of what Good Friday is all about.

At that moment all must have seemed lost to the Blessed Mother and the disciples as Jesus said, “It is finished” and gave up his spirit. Yet as the Blessed Mother, the Apostles, Mary Magdalene and many others soon learned, all was not lost. Jesus Christ, Son of God, who shed His Precious Blood to take away our sins, rose triumphantly from the empty tomb, opening the gates of Heaven and taking away Death’s sting.

There is so much more than what we can see with our limited human eyes. Don’t be afraid to seek Him out.  Look for Him and He will never ever let you go.

An Update on the Prayers for the Journey Project

February has been a very dry month for me creatively so I’m asking for prayers that in this dried up well of imagination, God will shine His Light upon me to lead me where He wants.

I hope with Lent approaching I may find time to blog the prayer reflections again.  Thank you in advance for any prayers and advice you can offer.

I refuse to give up but I may have to accept my limitations at present.

 

PRAYERS FOR THE JOURNEY: PRAYER OF TRUST BY THOMAS MERTON

PRAYER OF TRUST

by Thomas Merton (1915-1968)

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My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me.

I cannot know where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.

And I hope I have that desire in all I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore, I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Amen.

(from Thoughts in Solitude)

Thoughts in Solitude Thomas Merton 0385044607 9780385044608 Thoughts in Solitude
Originally published in 1961

Trivia for the Day:

The Abbey of Our Lady of Gethsemani which was home for Thomas Merton from 1941 to 1968 is the oldest monastery still in operation in the United States located in Bardstown, Kentucky. The monks belong to the Order of Cistercians of the Strict Observance (the Trappists). The monks follow the Rule of Saint Benedict which is a contemplative life of prayer and work.

My Absence From Posting & Lessons in Trust

I really meant to post this last Wednesday, January 16 but dealing with weather in Ohio along with the depression, working full-time and other obligations often takes my energy so I tend to sleep too much when I should be writing.  That “confession” aside, perhaps I just needed several days to reflect on this powerful prayer.

My parish, Holy Name of Jesus, in the dark

First of all, the ruminations for this post started last Tuesday night (January 15) while I sat in church, dark except for the candles gleaming off the Tabernacle, where unconsumed Consecrated Hosts are kept including the “Luna” Host used at Adoration/Eucharistic Exposition; there is always a Host in the Tabernacle (except on Good Friday) so Jesus in His Eucharistic Presence is always present in the Church. So while I waited to pick up my mom Kathy (she helps with the classes for R.C.I.A. — in Catholic “lingo” this is the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults, which is their journey to enter fully into the Catholic Church), I tried to pray about the direction of my life as I’d hoped to get to the Sacrament of Reconciliation on Thursday.

So in the quiet, I had the inspiration come as if God were speaking: “I have something beautiful (planned) for you, you just have to trust Me.”

This got me thinking. I have a great love for and devotion to the Divine Mercy which is all about trust in Jesus but am I trusting EVERYTHING to Him? Too often, as I continued examining my conscience, do I worry about what other people (and the world) thinks about me? Do I worry about seeking the approval of others instead of only being concerned about what God approves of?

And the big ones, for me, are:

  1. Am I trusting the ability to cope (and heal) from depression to Him?
  2. Am I trusting the writing vocation (if this is part of His plan) to Him?
  3. Am I trusting my financial difficulties to Him?

So I was led to today’s prayer–in the Catholic Prayer Book edited by Msgr. Michael Buckley, an old book that like an old friend returns with wise words when needed. I didn’t know anything about Thomas Merton when I found the prayer; I am still by no means an expert in his writings.  That didn’t matter–what mattered is like long ago, this prayer stuck with me to keep going even though we don’t know the road ahead.  It was a prayer found long before the image of The Divine Mercy with the words “Jesus, I Trust in You” engaged me in my friend Casey’s Emmaus Catholic Bookstore when I was checking out in 1992.

Question #2 on the trust issues is my big one.  See I’ve been struggling with “wanting” to be a fiction writer all of my teen into adult life (and I’m in my early fifties now) and if this is God’s plan for me, why is it always on the backburner?

God-incidentally before the visit to church last Tuesday, a good friend of mine (who came into my life because of my full-time job) told me after our exercise class at the library that God would make the writing happen at the “appointed time.” This friend Jeannie has been a great cheerleader for the writing along with another friend Kaye (also met through my job) who never gives up on hearing about the adventures of Ian, my Scottish detective, and Cate, my American illusionist/escape artist.  So always be on the lookout for occasions, especially the “small” ones, in which God speaks to you about your direction.  As Thomas Merton says, we must trust God “always” even when we may seem “lost in the shadow of death.”

Friday’s Holy Hour, the “Purpose of Me” & Trust

I prayed the Thomas Merton prayer once again at my Friday night Holy Hour. I also revisited a BeautyBeyondBones’ very kind comment back to me on Thursday when she wrote, “God has designed your path just as it is!” All this praying oddly led to a favorite quote by E. L. Doctorow that is my preferred method of plotting stories: “Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” 

So more questions came to write to Jesus:

Where am I going?

The E. L. Doctorow quote led me beyond writing.  When it comes to my journey, I can only see as far as my “headlights” and need to trust God that as long as I am working to do his will (like the prayer of trust reminds us), He will lead me on the road trip of a lifetime into eternity.

What is the “purpose of me?”

It’s a question we like to ask, especially when doing vocational discernment. Yet in the end, only God knows my purpose as well as the purpose of every other person He created.  But we have to trust.

So it all comes down to that word: TRUST.

May we not fear what may lay ahead or if we made a “wrong turn” in life. Let’s cry out with the words of this prayer, “Therefore, I will trust You always.”

TODAY’S PRAYER MISSION

Say Thomas Merton’s Prayer of Trust in a quiet place and let the Holy Spirit speak to you through this prayer.

As an extra reflection, if you like music, look up a great song that echoes the thoughts of this prayer called “The Long Way Home” by Neon Feather.

 

 

 

Update on this Prayer Project

Regarding the title change to Prayers for the Journey

On Monday the first full week back to work, reality hit me hard. I realized blogging every day in between responsibilities at home and church along with my full time job is not a stressor I need with my anxiety and depression. That being said I will continue to post prayers but just now on a daily basis. The goal of this project is to give people help and encouragement in everyday life and if I let myself get stressed I will not being doing that goal justice. Thank you for all the prayers.

A Work in Progress here by The Weaver’s Grace

Back in October, I was asked to give a holistic stewardship witness talk in front of my parish family about who I am in relation to my Catholic faith.  So I figure this is a good way to kick off my blog.

MY FAITH STORY

Like many of my fellow Catholics, August and September were rough months with the revelations of horrendous clerical abuse, and worse still, the cover up of said abuse.  In all this madness, I found inspiration from Bishop Robert Barron when he posted a quote to remind us why we’re Catholic that ended with these words “the Catholic Church remains the Mystical Body of Christ, The Bride of Christ, and she’s worth fighting for.”

As I writer, I believe God (the Divine Weaver) speaks through stories, film, music and art so ironically, this “fighting for” verse brought to mind two of my personal favorite quotes in pop culture.

“When you find something that’s worth fighting for? You never give up.” These words were spoken by #Belle to #Rumple in the #OnceUponaTime episode #TheOutsider.

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“There is some good in this world and it’s worth fighting for,” said #Samwise in the film version of the Lord of the Rings #LOTR.

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So these quotes all kind of sum up my view about God, faith & who I hope to be as God is the weaver of all of our unique tales yesterday, today and tomorrow & it’s by His grace that we find salvation.

So who am I?

Besides a great song of Jean Valjean from the musical Les Mis, it’s that question I keep asking myself even though I’m a baptized “cradle” Catholic of 50-odd years. I’m also praying to be that good steward of what God has given to me because they are not just for me but His purpose.

According to my Twitter Profile I am –
Tamara Menninger @ts_WeaversGrace
Author: Gritty Spiritual Suspense, Fantasy & #Rumbelle fan fic
Small town 50-ish fangirl
Teen librarian sans MLS
#CatholicGeek
#ApostleofBeauty in training

With more room, I would add

Youth Group volunteer (my profile picture with the silly hat? That’s from the 2017 National Catholic Youth Conference where I connected with the Daughters of St. Paul).

Perfectly imperfect #WIP (writers lingo for “Work in Progress” as I believe our lives are like unique puzzle pieces that God fits into place)

Living with a mental illness called depression

I always knew things didn’t fire right in my brain. In 2006, my doctor diagnosed me with depression. It’s probably my biggest cross. At first when she said “depression” I felt like a huge failure because I was caught in the lie that not only was something wrong with me psychologically but spiritually. Maybe I didn’t believe enough, trust enough, pray enough, whatever. And wow, are parents who trust me to educate and chaperone their teens going to find me unfit? But in time, God showed me I need to be out about it, even with practical strangers on social media, because maybe I can help somebody else.

See another thing depression likes to make us believe is that we are unlovable, worthless. But depression and the devil, who loves to use that trick too, are liars. We are loved by a God who never ever stops “fighting” for us. He’s fought for me all my life despite my flaws—my times I fell into sins—my good times and my bad times—and in His great grace He’s shown me His immense love through His Passion, His Most Sacred Heart , His Divine Mercy, especially in the Sacrament of Confession, and that love He gifts us Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist.
How do I know God’s fought for me?

There are too many examples I could give but here are a few.

I grew up as a “Daddy’s girl,” a “tomboy” who yes, did wish at times I’d been a boy mostly because the kind of movies, tv shows, comic and regular books I liked in the 60’s & 70s didn’t have female role models I identified with. There was Kirk, Spock & Bones, King Arthur & Lancelot & Robin Hood and not a Belle or Mulan in my childhood.
But God in His plans formed me as a woman and uses the strangest ways to get our attention. In the 90s he sent me Dr. Beverly Crusher from Star Trek who could be strong and a woman at the same time. He led me deeper then, to saints like Our Blessed Mother (the first Christian ), Mary Magdalene the apostle to the apostles, St. Madeleine Sophie Barat & countless others. He led me to the genius of women St. Pope John Paul II spoke of in his encyclical. (Side note yes I do still love typically “guy” movies I am a comic book and fantasy geek after all).

While I was “Daddy’s girl” I also ended up with a huge “father hole” as it’s called. My Dad was an alcoholic and when I started realizing this, it caused me to be embarrassed by him. At 17, I didn’t say good-bye to him on the day he was killed 35 years ago this month.

Those 35 years have taken their toll with the depression. But God in His mercy over 26 of those years in religious education/youth ministry has given me awesome experiences. I’m a #WIP as it has taken about six NCYC trips and other blessings because of working with our amazing young people and yes the writing (my works are usually featuring a father character or two) & another character I could go on for hours (#Rumplestiltskin from Once) about to heal that wound, forgive my dad and love him for being the “perfectly imperfect” dad he was. After he died, Mom and I were led to become full-time members of Holy Name. For these 35 years, God has blessed my life with the most beautiful Church family more than I ever felt worthy to have. That family continually makes me aware of how much I am loved. Oh and that father hole? In 1991 God sent one Father George Klein into my life and I was blessed to call him not just my pastor but spiritual father for 19 years. I also have an amazing Mom, who never lost her faith. If she hadn’t married, she probably would have been a religious sister. Besides our faith, Mom instilled in me a love for reading – and gave me my first set of lives on the saints from the Daughters of St. Paul, whom I am now discerning if I should become a lay cooperator with, who yes at the last NCYC helped in some of that healing I talked about. So I always had my books—and God gave me what I like to think is my greatest gift—my imagination—and once again another struggle in my life.

God gifted me with an imagination that when it is at full force, I can only describe it as having movies running in my head. I’ve wanted to write books since I was called upon to do a career report in 6th or 7th grade. But it seems at every turn, all these unfinished stories fell apart and at 52, I still have yet to complete an actual novel, there was school, grandmothers to take care of, work, teaching, that maybe I was supposed to give up.
But that’s where God shows me it’s never too late—and frankly, things I wrote in college, post-college I would have been appalled to have authored. Likewise, in the times following, my Catholic characters came across as pretty heavy-handed with the faith stuff. God taught me about baptism by imagination thanks to J.R.R. Tolkien who prayed to “create with an open heart wish to do God’s will and trust in His grace to guide in the weaving of the tale.”

And God maybe doesn’t give us what we want but he sends what we need. He hasn’t failed me yet and I trust in Him. And as we live in such a time as this, to echo Belle’s sentiment I started with, “In Christ and His Church, I found something worth fighting for and I hope I’ll never give up.” And hopefully when the last piece of my life’s puzzle is in place, in Christ’s Mercy I may be among the saints in Heaven.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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